Tuesday, April 10, 2012

You Know You're In America When:




  • Everyone owns iPhone rather than blackberry
  • The roads are wide and long
  • You know your rights and use them extensively
  • There are over 5 rows of books on weight loss and mental health, but people are still overweight and crazy
  • There is next to no one walking on the sidewalks
  • Everyone fights for the front row parking spot (Sometimes circling the parking lot several times)
  • There is nothing open passed 9 on weekdays and 2 on weekends
  • There are drive-thru restaurants at every corner
  • America has 70% of the world’s lawyers/legal professions (There are law-suits for everything)
  • On Memorial Day, 4th of July, and Labor Day must be properly honored with a barbecue or grill-out. MUST!
  • Students carry book bags and laptops to class
  • You talk about international travel and they respond with "I'm part Irish, German and Italian."
  • You enjoy house parties as much as going out
  • Language embraces only the good feelings, a type of political correctness. (They are not fat, they are “Person of size”. They are not blind, they are “seeing-impaired”)
  • People take with them the food that they did not eat in "To go bags"
  • You go to a theme park and see fanny-packs galore (Typical American tourist identity)
  • There are only self-service gas stations (Yes. You have to wash your own windows)
  • There are water fountains everywhere (FREE drinkable water)
  • There are police cars everywhere and are sneaky (They are experts at speed traps & writing tickets/fines)
  • The commercials take as much time as the actual show
  • You wake up far before 8AM for school
  • To be a man, you must become an American football player or play some kind of "manly sport"
  • Everyone in class bring their laptops
  • Every licensed driver has at least 1 car
  • People talk about their personal religion out loud
  • There are yard decorations/ornaments (Deer. that make you slam on your brakes)
  • Any noun can be turned into a verb and you can make up words daily
  • Laws can change drastically between towns, cities, and states
  • There are dollar stores everywhere (Everything in the store is $1 plus tax)
  • Clubs/bars start getting busy around 11-12 and end at 2AM
  • Only about 30% of the population owns passports
  • Winning is the central idea to the American spirit
  • Everything is thought of in terms of money. EVERYTHING!
  • Anyone who is jobless is thought to be a non-person
  • The Superbowl is the most important event in the universe (Millions of dollars spent on commercials, but yet we have economy problems)
  • You can walk five minutes to your destination, but would rather drive to save time and energy
  • The Americans think that the world would not survive without their existence.
  • On St. Patrick’s everyone becomes Irish and wears green
  • There is a tool/machine/gadget to do anything you want (God forbid doing anything manually)
  • Everything comes with a warning label of some sort (Cups, gadgets, food, EVERYTHING)
  • Children are raised to be independent
  • It is considered rude to tell a joke that enables any social, ethnic, sexual, religious or racial stereotype
  • Our most distinctive traits are –religious extremism, paranoia, greed, and boastfulness (Oops!)
  • The typical quick breakfast is either cereal or pop-tarts
  • People get confused using the metric system
  • You know everything you put in your mouth will be bad for you, but that’s your only option. (Be prepared to gain weight. No one ever escapes it!)
  • If it didn’t happen on the news, it didn’t happen at all
  • There is reliable public transportation only in larger cities like New York, Chicago, Washington D.C., and Los Angeles
This post was not meant to offend my any means. Just some observations I have taken note of since arriving from Turkey 2 months ago. Hope you enjoyed a good reality check of American culture. :-)



Note: I do not own the copyrights to these photos